I drank several glasses of strong tea that were labeled ‘proceed with caution’ – I tapped my fingers and clicked my tongue. I fashioned myself an outfit made from dusty doilies and called it a day. My heart began to expand from the inside, with my chest tightening, I knew it would soon explode. I started snapping at children and felt eager to do it again, the numbness I had held for months was going by the wayside. High octane energy was what I needed – yes, yes, yes! It felt good to be angry for no reason and annoyed at the slightest thing – at least now when I would be awake (!) for hours on end I could say I did so purposely and with style (!) …And in the end, when the exploding of my heart would open up my chest cavity – I would be the one solely responsible – lest suffer a half-assed job done by someone else.

“Ya know,” I said to the air, knowing The Specialist was behind me, without having to turn around.

“Ya know, I could very easily burn The Woods down and build a mall while I have all this pent-up energy, just before my heart gives out…”

He nodded.

“I could just as easily let you and build one as I could whistle Dixie. It would just grow back though and eventually ivy would climb all over the architecture, consuming it whole, making a mockery of any and all man-made creation,” he admitted.

I nodded.

“So what now?”

“We could both light the match…” he began.

We made eye contact.

“…Or we could both run away, straight out of The Woods, promising not to look back at each other – ”

“Running out of here in opposite directions?” I prodded.

“Yes, I’ll take the left and you can take the right…”

“…And we’ll go about our lives in order to have some semblance of sanity in our daily routine – ”

“Because life is difficult enough – ”

” …And if we happen to run into each other on the outside, somewhere in the middle, perhaps we could share a chuckle or casually comment on the weather,” I smiled.

“It could be nice…”

“Yeah, I think it really could be.”

We both sighed, shook hands, took turns slapping each other across the face, smiled, and with our fingers crossed behind our backs, proceeded to run for our lives. It was a start.

(ALTERNATIVE ENDING)

Suddenly a wild yellow dog with a determined look in its eye, started nipping at our heels and ended up following me home. A swirling vortex of a black hole appeared out of nowhere, sucking calendars and farm animals into it. By way of no other alternative escape, I jumped in narrowly escaping its paws. I was then drawn into the past, ruining an otherwise poignant and dare I say, positive, ending to this story.

(ALTERNATIVE TO THE ALTERNATIVE ENDING)

The dog managed to take me down and drew blood. I turned into a puppet only functioning with strong emotions.

(ALTERNATIVE TO THE ALTERNATIVE ENDING, ENDING)

My brain grew toned arms that jutted out of my ears. My other miscellaneous and vital organs patched themselves up with duct tape and staples. I bit the dog and everyone else real and/or imagined from the past, present and/or future that ever felt they could take advantage of me. I took a deep breath and journeyed towards something people call ‘inner peace.’

 

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When you finally get outside of that little town that you live in and breathe different air, know this, in order to see, you must be seen. I encourage walks down dirty, snow-covered streets, intentionally wearing flip flops in the winter. Wear beautiful garments and forget your name for awhile. With vulnerability comes strength. Make the city cry; let its glitter bleed out into the pavement. Scream at the universe with fury and shaking fists: I EXIST, I EXIST, I PROMISE, I EXIST – I THINK!

If you need a quick break from screaming “I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU, YOU IDIOT” into glass bottles, take a step back and think about what that really means. Look around you and follow whatever path your feet lead you to. Dance like everyone and no one is watching. Stop behaving like a child. It’s going to be okay.

You’ll soon return to your home in that little town that you live in where a party of intellectuals will be flooding the space outside of your door with their innovative conversations. Their voices will muddle together in a strange cacophony and will instantly remind you of your own constantly running inner monologue. With voices piling on top of voices, you might actually catch a bit of truth somewhere. Your life is oh so precious and fleeting, attack it with every last breath.

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Doesn’t your education lust for a refreshing change of pace? Someone, something outside of circles, patterns repeating, (miseducation – a lack of understanding)? Wouldn’t that just be too cute?! Someone, something that has no ties to anything, that has no clout, that has no influence over anyone or anything? Wouldn’t you just breathe at that, baby?

I had a blast volunteering for the 2014 edition of the Rhode Island International Film Festival. It was a great opportunity to see some of the best new short and feature length films from around the world.

Here are a list of just some of my favorites. Go check them out and support independent film making!

CON QUIÉN SUEÑA BERTA? (Spain) 

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Je suis Une Actrice (France)

Showfolk

monica-lewis-sings-300x290Follow Monica Lewis on Twitter! At 92, she’s still kicking! Literally! 

Market Hours

Sinners

Nous sommes tous des êtres penchés (France) 

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“If you are interested in taking music lessons, you have come to the right place! Tim Aznavour is now offering private lessons in various styles of music including rock, pop, jazz and classical to guitarists of all abilities.

Whether you’re interested in classical guitar lessons for your child or are an adult trying to pick up the guitar again, you will fit right in at Tim Aznavour’s studio.” (timaznavour.com) 

 

“Death to Strawberry Moon” starring Adrienne Jones as the fairest of them all, Strawberry Moon, and Sarah Samways as Babyshakes, an envious loner who kills Moon and bakes her up into a strawberry rhubarb pie. Coming to the 95 Empire Theater on July 26, 2014.

 

Screenshots/Sneak Peeks: