Here’s a piece I wrote for Devon Fick’s ongoing series, “Short Stories Based on Small Objects.” My object/inspiration is the blue ticket seen below. The love of his life had died back in ’81. Poor Ol’ Dorothy Jo’s lungs had failed her, leaving Mr. Robert William Barker alone with a bunch of infertile dogs. I […]

Happy Birthday, Mama!
I made a card with crayons because sometimes it’s okay to be sweet. I may or may not have had my cat sign it too. Check out the News from Lankville article posted on the Boston Hassle today in her honor.

Summoning Spirits with Carl Dunn: A Lankville Daily News Exclusive
By Sarah Samways, Contributing Female While the majority of Lankvillians spent this past Halloween walking around aimlessly, looking for a “good time,” visual artist and occasional occultist, Carl Dunn, spent his morning a little bit differently. Going to the local slaughterhouse, nearby his beloved Fotomat and down around the corner from the Pizza-A-Round, Dunn brought […]
UMBC Reading List
I am beyond honored to have had one of my novels nominated for UMBC’s required reading for its first year program. As a GED recipient and a university dropout, this acknowledgement from Academia is especially heartwarming. Although not selected, it is always nice to be nominated! You will also notice some of my Lankvillian colleagues […]
STAR SIGHTING AT PIZZA A-ROUND, GARLIC BREAD CONSUMED
via The Lankville Daily News Popular motivational speaker and local “financeteer,” Brian 4 Ever, made a rare appearance at the Pizza A-Round last night. Also spotted were Computer Computer Paper CEO Amanda Burgess, Tammy La Hoyt of Tammy’s Nails, LDN’s own cuisine writer Brian Schropp, and President Albert Pondicherry. Yes, the stars were certainly out […]

DECISION 2016: LANKVILLE TALKS BACK
LANKVILLE TALKS BACK The Lankville Presidential Election is heating up. Incumbent Pondicherry is currently in the lead with Royer and Hadbawnik tied for second. Polls close on Thursday and the winner will be announced on Friday via this publication as well as through our sister pundit, The Boston Hassle. You’ve seen the attack ads, now […]

Samways and Fick: Consultants (A PAID ADVERTISEMENT)
Samways and Fick, Inc. S&F INC. believes that leaders deserve to have a high-performing team and we help them (the leaders) to place the right people in the right seats doing the right things in the right foundation at the right time and in the right climate.Helping You Reach the Area Near the Top of […]

DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE THE IMPORTANCE OF TROPHIES
A PAID ADVERTISING TESTIMONIAL “I WILL TEACH YOU HOW TO WIN MORE TROPHIES…” says Dr. Grabkurt, renowned “life” expert. Dr. Grabkurt believes that the trophy is man’s greatest barometer of success. “It is far more important than meaningless academic degrees or life experiences,” the trophy authority notes. “I will teach you how to […]

INVESTIGATION: What the Hell is Up at Local Pizza Joint?
An Investigative Report by Zach Keebaugh Paladin Pizza in Central Lankville has been in business since 1972. They operate out of a mean, one-story building nestled in front of a defunct factory. The parking lot is cracked and worn and the sidewalk in front of the door has nearly returned to dirt. The windows are […]

News: Millennials Are Moving Back to Lankville and Living Like Kings
A BROCK BELVEDERE SPECIAL REPORT Last year, Berenice Cradles and her boyfriend Josh Wilson-Shires paid $26,000 for a three bedroom, 1,600 square-foot Lankville Northern Regional Style house in the Snowy Lake Area. After growing up in the nearby Eastern Hills, attending Lankville State Easier University, then living and making music in the Islands for […]