SEQUINED BRAIN

I wanted to repay the favor. Touching my now bandaged temple, I slowly arose from the frondescence beneath me… “Frondescence?” Teenybopper asked skeptically. “Frondescence. Yes, frondescence.” I agreed, dizzily. I looked around me and found no one; my wrists and ankles had become free. Everything or nothing could be at risk if I just got […]

Read more

BANANA LOBOTOMY

I had run out of places to hide in my apartment where Ol’ Bat and Teenybopper wouldn’t find me so I escaped to The Woods in order to find some sort of peace. This would prove a fruitless adventure since they knew me better than I knew myself and could accurately predict my next move […]

Read more

A HISTORY OF LAUGHTER

ONE A co-worker once told me that it took the sickest, dirtiest jokes in order to get me to laugh, to crack a smile. I suppose in a sense she was right. This same co-worker also told me, on an unrelated occasion, that I reminded her of “an old style saloon worker, a Spanish whore” […]

Read more

THE PERFORMER

  THE PERFORMER Did anyone else notice that? Did anyone else notice it? Did anyone else notice the fear in ITS eyes? I’m not sure if IT’S sure if IT knows whether or not IT feels like IT’S doing me a disservice anymore… I wonder if the audience cares anymore I wonder if they know […]

Read more

Opportunity Knocks, but Doors Don’t Open by Themselves

(Unless they’re those fancy automatic sliding doors but that’s not the point, really…) In today’s economy, everybody’s pinching their pennies and looking for solutions. It’s quite the hustle and ya’ve gotta do what ya’ve gotta do! Thankfully, we are fortunate to live in a society filled with so many philosophical voices (i.e. Rihanna, Ms. Couric) […]

Read more