says Dr. Grabkurt, renowned “life” expert. Dr. Grabkurt believes that the trophy is man’s greatest barometer of success. “It is far more important than meaningless academic degrees or life experiences,” the trophy authority notes. “I will teach you how to acquire more trophies, bigger trophies, trophies that have more little gold people on top and trophies that will impress everyone, from potential “lovers” to business associates.” Sign up now for this once in a lifetime opportunity!
NOW AVAILABLE Pamphlets by Dr. Grabkurt ($9.95 each!)
Sports Trophies: The Sleeping Giant
How to Parlay the Winning of a Big Trophy into a Deep, Satisfying Relationship (Heterosexual Only)
Dr. Grabkurt’s Guide to Avoiding Dying Alone and Trophy-less: A 26-Step Handbook
Number of Trophies
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