The Incident in the Woods: An Investigative Report

The President is in denial. He needs to address those tent murders in an actual forum and stop sugar coating the situation!

The Lankville Daily News

By Sarah Samways By Sarah Samways

Lankville Daily News’ Contributing Female hits the streets in search of answers.

Lankville, your safety is important to me – I want you to know that. Your privacy is too, I suppose. The state of your mental health is a concern I have from time to time, if there’s nothing good on television. So when I heard there was an incident in The Woods, I was determined to get to the bottom of it. I interviewed several Lankvillians on the scene but I wasn’t getting any straight answers. When asked about the incident, a group of teenagers shrugged their shoulders. An unidentified man on a bicycle claimed he had heard an explosion of some sort but this could not be corroborated with police reports.

“Not a thing is singed,” said Detective Gee Temple, as he jumped into a pile of leaves. “We’ll take some samples of these…

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