Ol’ Bat & Teenybopper Play Poker (I Watch)

You Wanna Fight? (2011)
You Wanna Fight? (2011)

“I suppose it has been awhile since we last played a good ol’ game ah poker…” said Ol’ Bat, acknowledging the teenybopper in the room.

The teenybopper was obviously distressed and wanted to talk about a ghost prince that would never come but even she could recognize what an old tune that was getting to be. The two of them had tied me to a chair now; I was chomping down on an old sock. Strawberry flavored!

At this point of my life, I had to realize that Ol’ Bat wasn’t so much of an intruder than a habitual eccentric come to kook-ify my otherwise gray existence. The fact that she had an accomplice now only meant that I had another friend. Two, if you’re keeping track! Anyways…

“Urgh, I’m so bored! How do you play? I forget…” whined the teenybopper.

She sighed. We all sighed. We will forever be sighing.

“Pay attention,” Ol’ Bat said with patience, “you take the deck and you spill all the cards onto the table. You cut the deck in half and distribute them evenly between you and your opponent. You smack your opponent in the face as they go to collect their bounty and then steal their half of the deck back. Make sure to finger wag!”

She illustrated the motion.

“You take the deck and throw all the cards into a paper shredder. You get another deck of cards in the meantime. Draw Xs on very particular cards of your choosing, ’bout nine will do it. Then hide them amongst your person. After the old deck is all done being shredded, collect the pieces and throw them on top of the new deck…”

I was taking notes in my head. Maybe we would play one day (?) The teenybopper was looking at me with compassion, I think.

“Do you show your cards or not?!” said the teenybopper, getting impatient too quickly.

Ol’ Bat laughed.

“I say show ’em! Life is too short and boring without ’em! They all end up in somebody’s garbage the next day anyway! Besides, you have to fascinate your opponent with glitter…a little razzle dazzle. They’ll look great all lit up! You have to realize that you have more power than your opponent will lead you to believe. We’ve all seen you die again and again, now you must persevere with strength, with or without an audience. Know that you can kill just as well as you can be killed.”

Everything went numb as I felt a sort of togetherness with my captors.

“I don’t really think we’re playing poker…” the teenybopper said, feeling a lesson coming on.

“No, and I suppose we never will.”

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