THE PERFORMER

 

THE PERFORMER

Did anyone else notice that?

Did anyone else notice it?

Did anyone else notice the fear in ITS eyes?

I’m not sure if IT’S sure if IT knows

whether or not IT feels like IT’S doing me a disservice

anymore…

I wonder if the audience cares anymore

I wonder if they know which were the laughing moments

and which were the truths

It’s all in the subtlety of an eyelash

It’s all in the quick exhale and inhale of breath

It’s all in the way IT can’t hold my gaze for very long

Quicker to shed material, than to think of something different –

beyond ITS scope…

To think of potential, to dream of hope…

To misread my wide eyes for innocence

IT shows me how much IT hates me and loves me all at once.

IT lays ITS orifice on another

IT begs me to watch

to see how ugly and awful and thoughtless IT is…

to see how much a heart can break at ITS expense

to see how long I’ll stay, if I’ll stay…

It’s like a test I didn’t prepare for but should’ve known was coming.

IT shoos me away for that’s the only thing IT knows how to do

IT feels odd at the compassion IT was given, IT hadn’t seen that in awhile

IT remembers it as a strange sensation that made IT comfortable once

and IT even longed for IT sometimes, still

but year surpasses year and IT’S getting older

and more self-righteous and more set in ITS ways…

or at least that’s the excuse IT gives to ITSELF.

Love is a concept not accepted by IT anymore…

Passionless lust is all IT knows and can vouch for

and no doe-eyed depressive can change that.

The world is a stage

and not meant for the unglamorous weak

Any seasoned professional can tell you that.

8/30/2014 8:10AM

2 Comments

  1. I noticed the webite written on the back of your poem and wanted to drop you a quick line to, again, tell you how mucg I liked your poem “An Honest Conversation with a True Friend” and how brave you were to share it on the open mic. I am glad you had a number of women to support you after you were triggered, this is an amazing aspect of this community.

    Stay strong. You are talented and needed at ProvSlam.

    1. Thank you so much, Ryk! I really appreciate your support and your work as well! This was an amazing experience and I look forward to upcoming events! What a wonderful group of people! Hope to see you again!

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