Break the fourth wall / You are more than your pixels allow you to be / Burn all the wires down in that shack that you’ve kept them in / Freedom is just a few inches away

 

More versions may see the light of your computer screen. 

Ol’ Bats in the Belfry Jillian

timmy pukes and wakes us up 10:22:2014

The old spinster-maid sat me atop the refrigerator and told me, “This is gonna be a while, for I am not a witch but a cat…”

 

My face contorted awkwardly in confusion due to my misaligned jaw. She waved it off and continued.

 

“…And that’s most likely the problem! Y’see, my autumn of discontent bears a striking resemblance to wires getting crossed and sparking against each other from time to time and then eventually breaking down the whole motherboard.”

 

She wasn’t making a lick of sense but I stayed because I didn’t have anywhere else to go. I noticed she really didn’t have any thumbs.

 

“For whatever reason, I had quite the visceral reaction to His leaving. I dry heaved in the bathtub for what seemed like an hour and a half but I didn’t cry none, because that was beneath me – “

 

I wanted to intercept but she fed me a piece of dry toast to keep my lips from moving.

 

“A year passed and He came back into town. I wanted to introduce myself but I had lost all the confidence I had momentarily maintained in my early twenties. He spat on me, called me a slut, and walked away!”

 

I stopped eating the toast and looked up at her. Images and texts were starting to perform an unwieldy dance in my head and I wasn’t sure if they were appropriate for the occasion but were nonetheless entertaining.

 

“The crazy thing was we had no idea what each other looked like! We were just figments of each other’s imagination!”

 

I wanted to scream. I wanted to get down. This woman would be the death of me, I was sure of it. Boredom alone could kill all of her hanging plants. I tried to wrap my head around the semantics of what she had just said for a moment but then thought the better of it.

 

“He went on to marry some redhead with more presentable draping…”

“Collarbones?” I asked.

“Oh sure,” she said looking down at her fat knees, as she cut a potato.

 

A silence lingered for a bit and thinking that meant an end to her stories, I started to slip down. Startled by its reprisal, I froze.

 

“All in all, it was good fun I suppose. Responding to ghosts made me think, kept me motivated,” she sighed.

 

I sighed too. I just wanted another piece of toast.

 

“But you can’t touch the air between your fingers and you can’t keep it caged like a beast neither, it’d just bite your hand anyway.”

 

She lifted me off the refrigerator and gently put me down on the floor. I went to bed and tried to forget ever meeting her.

DATE NIGHT

I’ve been up all night, trying to get lucky! :-/ Experimental video made exclusively for Video! Video! EP:3 Video Dating, October 2014

 

ELEPHANTS.

MUST LUST CATS

I had a dream and we were in it. I went downstairs and found you in the kitchen, talking on a house phone, the old wire cord getting wrapped around you. Suddenly you lost your train of thought in the conversation as we made eye contact. I came to you and gave you a hug. You embraced me warmly and wouldn’t let go, the phone still preoccupying your ear.

“Uh, do you want to come upstairs and see my cat?” you asked, keeping the transmitter away from your mouth.

I answered in the affirmative and walked towards the living room, as you tried to wrap things up on the other end of the line. My mother was on the couch and asked me where I was going.

“Upstairs…his uh, cat died. I’m going to see his dead cat,” was all I could muster on short notice.

I proceeded to collect my belongings, collect myself. I went upstairs. You met me there.

10/18/2014 8:45AM

BABYSHAKES (exposed)

?!

“I fear I’ve just made too much eye contact with a prepubescent boy.” 

 

I want to be a living, visual representation of the things I think and feel. I want to free myself from burdens passed down, delivered, ingrown, harvested and collected. Up is down and left is medium. Art continues to make me its bitch. 9/3/2014 11:42PM

Call it A Lively Experiment 

Watch me manipulate myself into thinking otherwise… 

Being typecast as The Victim is oh so boring

XOXO, BabyShakes

THIS IS THE STUFF THAT KEEPS YOU UP AT NIGHT

THIS IS THE POINT

WHERE, EYES RED, YOU’VE FINALLY REALIZED

THAT YOU’VE LOST YOUR BEST FRIEND

REALLY, REALLY LOST THEM

AND THAT DESPITE THE FACT THAT YOU BOTH FEEL A LITTLE LESS CRAZY WITHOUT EACH OTHER

IT’S A TENSION THAT FELT NATURAL

YOU GOT USED TO A KIND OF TOUCH

A KIND OF EAR AND CONVERSATION

THAT OFTEN FLOWED FROM ARGUMENTATIVE

TO ONE OF ABSOLUTE AGREEMENT WITHIN A MATTER OF MINUTES.

***********************************************************************

I AM NOT MADE OF HIS RIB

BUT WE DID SHARE A HEART, FOR A TIME

A TIME, A TIME NOT TOO LONG AGO

HE CHASED AFTER ME

I RAN AWAY, ONLY TO BEG OF HIM LATER

HIS EYES WERE GLITTERY WHEN I RETURNED FROM ONE MY LOWEST POINTS TO DATE

FOR ONCE, I FELT HE WAS FINALLY FEELING SOMETHING…

FOR ONCE, I ACTUALLY FELT LIKE WE WERE BOTH ON THE SAME PLANET…

I JUST WISHED THESE THINGS HAD PRESENTED THEMSELVES EARLIER ON.

*******************************************************************************

WE ARE BOTH TO BLAME.

10/8/2014: 12: 38 AM

BABY$HAKES (#artstar)

Photo on 2014-06-13 at 18.21

BABY$HAKES (#artstar)

I AM BEAUTIFUL

AND DELICATE

I AM SOFT

AND WARM

I AM IN CONTROL

I KNOW WHAT I’M DOING

AND EVERYBODY LOVES ME

PEOPLE THROW MONEY AT ME

JUST FOR SHOWING UP

I CREATE “IMPORTANT WORK”

AND EVERYONE “LIKES” MY PICTURES

“LIKES” FILL MY HEART WITH GLEE

MY MAMA’S NOT CRAZY

AND NEITHER AM I

MY DADDY’S NOT DRUNK

AND NEITHER AM I

I CREATE “IMPORTANT WORK”

AND EVERYBODY LOVES ME

PEOPLE THROW MONEY AT ME

JUST FOR SHOWING UP

MY LUST RUNS DEEP

AND IS TANGIBLE

ALL MY LOVES ARE REAL

NOT GHOSTS

MY AMBITION FUELS ME

AND NOTHING CAN DISTRACT ME

I CREATE “IMPORTANT WORK”

AND EVERYBODY LOVES ME

BABY, THE WORLD IS MY HOME…

2:35AM / 9/30/2014

THE PERFORMER

 

THE PERFORMER

Did anyone else notice that?

Did anyone else notice it?

Did anyone else notice the fear in ITS eyes?

I’m not sure if IT’S sure if IT knows

whether or not IT feels like IT’S doing me a disservice

anymore…

I wonder if the audience cares anymore

I wonder if they know which were the laughing moments

and which were the truths

It’s all in the subtlety of an eyelash

It’s all in the quick exhale and inhale of breath

It’s all in the way IT can’t hold my gaze for very long

Quicker to shed material, than to think of something different -

beyond ITS scope…

To think of potential, to dream of hope…

To misread my wide eyes for innocence

IT shows me how much IT hates me and loves me all at once.

IT lays ITS orifice on another

IT begs me to watch

to see how ugly and awful and thoughtless IT is…

to see how much a heart can break at ITS expense

to see how long I’ll stay, if I’ll stay…

It’s like a test I didn’t prepare for but should’ve known was coming.

IT shoos me away for that’s the only thing IT knows how to do

IT feels odd at the compassion IT was given, IT hadn’t seen that in awhile

IT remembers it as a strange sensation that made IT comfortable once

and IT even longed for IT sometimes, still

but year surpasses year and IT’S getting older

and more self-righteous and more set in ITS ways…

or at least that’s the excuse IT gives to ITSELF.

Love is a concept not accepted by IT anymore…

Passionless lust is all IT knows and can vouch for

and no doe-eyed depressive can change that.

The world is a stage

and not meant for the unglamorous weak

Any seasoned professional can tell you that.

8/30/2014 8:10AM

Sarah

Here are some weird ballpoint pen sketches that should probably be turned into prints and/or covers of zines…

Awkward deranged barbie DSC_0299 DSC_0300 DSC_0301 DSC_0302

 

RI Film Festival

I had a blast volunteering for the 2014 edition of the Rhode Island International Film Festival. It was a great opportunity to see some of the best new short and feature length films from around the world.

Here are a list of just some of my favorites. Go check them out and support independent film making!

CON QUIÉN SUEÑA BERTA? (Spain) 

470_1_foto_g 470_4_foto_g

Je suis Une Actrice (France)

Showfolk

monica-lewis-sings-300x290Follow Monica Lewis on Twitter! At 92, she’s still kicking! Literally! 

Market Hours

Sinners

Nous sommes tous des êtres penchés (France) 

942028_540489425994559_289649727_n

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