Happy 23rd Birthday to…Yours Truly! To celebrate my growing years of wisdom, I thought I’d share a poem I wrote, discussing my continuing status into adulthood.

THE TRUTH

I was 20 when I lost IT

IT happened with a childhood friend

IT was awkward

He was kind, I was afraid

I kept my eyes closed and said, “Just do IT…”

IT happened just once

I ran away

IT didn’t happen again until a year later.

I was 21 when I met the Casanova of the Woods

He told me I was beautiful

He said, “I really like your face…”

One night we were intoxicated

He took me to secret places

I pretended like I knew what was happening

I was growing up

I was growing up

I fell in love with a much older man that summer

One who could not return the favor

I was sad

I was figuring things out

I pretended like I knew what was happening.

I used a boy like a Band-Aid

He was too young

I was too unsure of myself

Still, he is a good person.

Later, I met a young man who could get the job done

We were entangled limbs

As often as possible

We lived on the edge

We LIVED, LIVED, LIVED!

But there was a problem amongst this bliss…

He was seeking a Savior where there could be none

He didn’t care if he died the next day and…

Living in the moment, just to see the next one vanish

Just wasn’t for me.

I then became “one” with a smart man

A very, very smart man with ideals and personal morality

Draped around his shoulders like a security blanket

We were different, but it was intellectually interesting

But there was a problem amongst this bliss…

I was parched from an endless thirst

But he refused to nourish me

I was rejected

I was sad

We kept our feelings on the back burner.

I went away to an island in search of gold

One night I was accosted by a youth

We were intoxicated

I felt a little helpless

I managed to get out of it but there was a rerun

There was a certain tinge of unbeknownst…obligation(?)

So I followed him

There was a struggle of legs and arms

He won

It wasn’t exactly the big R…but it didn’t feel good

I think we were both very sad, confused, young people

I collapsed on the floor and wept

Through broken English he told me about an ex-girlfriend that had hung herself

I was growing up

I was sad

I pretended like I knew what was happening.

I keep my feelings on the back burner

One time I exploded

But I’m figuring things out

One day I’ll find Peace

I’m growing up

I’ve gained Perspective.